— from the neurospicy mum
Some days my cup feels completely empty. My brain is noisy, everything feels like too much, and I just need a reset. If you’re nodding along right now — this one’s for you.
Here are some of the ways we fill our cups as neurodivergent humans. Not a checklist. Not a prescription. Just ideas to try on and see what fits.
Ways to refill your cup
✨ Connect with safe people ✨ Rest without guilt ✨ Follow a special interest ✨ Protect quiet time ✨ Spend time alone without expectations ✨ Stim freely ✨ Revisit comfort activities ✨ Take micro-breaks ✨ Write things down ✨ Create something ✨ Celebrate your strengths
The how behind each one
Connect with safe people. Spending time with understanding, supportive people can bring comfort and connection. The ones who get it without needing a full explanation.
Rest without guilt. Allow yourself downtime without feeling bad about it. It’s okay to take a break. Actually — it’s more than okay.
Follow a special interest. Diving deep into the thing you love can be energizing and fulfilling. Let yourself hyperfixate. That’s fuel.
Protect quiet time. Having quiet, distraction-free moments can restore your energy and focus. Close the door. Turn things off. Breathe.
Spend time alone without expectations. Time to yourself, without pressure to produce or perform, gives you space to recharge and just be.
Stim freely. Fidgeting, rocking, tapping, humming, using sensory tools — all of it can support regulation. Your body knows what it needs.
Revisit comfort activities. Favourite shows, comfort books, the hobby you always come back to. These can feel safe and restorative in a way new things just can’t.
Take micro-breaks. Short pauses between tasks can help reset your brain. Ninety seconds of nothing. A walk to the kettle. A stretch.
Write things down. Lists, journalling, brain dumps — anything that helps clear the mental clutter and get it out of your head and onto a page.
Create something. Art, writing, crafting, music. Making something with your hands can help process feelings that words can’t reach.
Here’s the thing though…
Not every “fill your cup” strategy works for every neurodivergent person — and that’s the whole point.
Our brains are different. So the things that help us recharge will be different too.
For example, creativity is often suggested as a way to refill your cup. But for me? That would probably empty my cup faster. I’m not a naturally creative person, and forcing it would frustrate me more than help.
A better example for me is reading.
Picture this: I’m overwhelmed. My cup is completely empty. My brain is noisy, everything feels like too much, and I just need a reset. My go-to? A really good book. If it’s really good, I might hyperfixate and not put it down until I finish it. By the time I look up again hours later, my body battery has quietly reset.
Technically this falls under “follow a special interest.” And yes — those 30-something BookTok mums are absolutely part of that special interest.
Rest without guilt — the hard one
Another big one for me is rest without guilt.
I’m a mum of two kids, I have a job, an awesome side quest, and a house that somehow keeps needing to run every single day. So where exactly is the time to rest?
Honestly — sometimes there isn’t any. Which means sometimes you have to make it.
For me, that might look like five quiet minutes sitting in the car after work, just enjoying the silence before the afternoon rush of sports, dinner, homework and home routines begins. Tiny windows count.
The biggest one: safe people
The biggest cup-filler for me is connecting with safe people.
If you know me, you know me. Thank you to the friends who put up with my far-too-frequent afternoon calls where I need a full brain dump… and then want to hear everything about your day too. Those conversations can completely turn my day around.
The most important thing to remember
You have to find what works for you.
Every neurodivergent brain is different. So the things that refill your cup will be different too.
Because when my cup is empty, I’m not my best mum self. And my kids need their cups filled too — and I’m a big part of helping that happen.
So finding the things that help you recharge isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. 🤍